Poop etiquette

Is there such a thing, you ask?

YES. Let's lay this out.

NO. NEVER.
Pooping while on the phone
Pooping while eating
Pooping and talking to a person in the next room

YES. GO AHEAD.
Pooping with the door open if it's just you and your spouse home
Pooping while reading Oprah magazine
Cursing while pooping because it can be so slow and such a waste of time

QUESTIONABLE
Emailing or blogging while pooping?
Playing Facebook games while pooping?
Applying makeup while pooping?

I need to get to the bottom of this (no pun intended. really.). I hate to poop. I feel like poop asks more of me than I am prepared to give. It takes too long. It's messy. There are so many things I would rather be doing. What do I get out of the deal? I need to go ahead and accept that pooping would be more enjoyable to me if I was able to blog or email or instant message on the toilet. But what's the etiquette here?